Behind These Eyes
by TayaCurragh
Summary: I stood there, still, eyes closed, foolishly trying to convince myself "This is just a nightmare. I'll wake up soon. Everything will be back to normal" But for Elsie Lightwood, nothing will be normal again.
1. Chapter 1

**Behind These Eyes  
Part One**

**Hai there ^^ This is my first fic with an OC, I hope It's not too bad. **

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As I twisted, squirmed, and pushed in a last, desperate attempt to escape the Things grip, I pleaded with my mind, with my sanity, _'This is not happening. It's not real.'_

As the tortured screams tore apart my heart and soul, I stood there, still, eyes closed, foolishly trying to convince myself '_This is just a nightmare. I'll wake up soon. Everything will be back to normal'_

But for Elsie Lightwood, nothing will ever be normal again.

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That morning started as normal as any other. Elsie awoke very early, like most days, but stayed lying in her soft bed, listing to her brothers gentle snoring. Herself and Braedon, her identical twin brother, had lived in the institute most of their lives; the Lightwoods had took them in when they were orphaned at a young age. At least, that was what they had been told. Neither Elsie of Braedon remembers anything about their parents, or life outside the institute. However, the absence of parents had brought them closer, they were extremely close, they never even argued. In fact, they were inseparable. Either one would have given their life for the other without a second thought.

A muffled rustle of bedcovers indicated that her brother was awake, although it had took Elsie a minute to snap out of her dream-like state and realise it. Looking over at her brother was like looking at a masculine version of herself, with a few extra inches of height. His light brown hair, messy from sleep, reached his shoulders, mostly straight, with wild flicks at the ends. Her hair was just slightly longer. His pale, freckled face was attractive, but not quite beautiful, as it glowed slightly in the weak sunlight shining through the window. His baby blue eyes, still half-closed, always seemed to be dancing with happiness, even at this ungodly hour he had awoke. He groggily sat up, smiled his usual smile at his sister, then dragged himself over to the bathroom.

Elsie suddenly awoke to strong sunlight beaming in her face, not remembering falling back asleep. Taking only a few minutes dressing, she made her way through the long witchlight-lit corridor to the kitchen. Already sitting at the table was her brother, and three others. Alec, Isabelle and Jace, three of her best friends, who she lived in the institute with. Pouring herself a bowl of cereal, she noticed they were all in their black hunting gear.

"Come on, come on, we haven't got all day!" Jace bugged her, "We've already been waiting ages". Impatient as usual, Jace hadn't changed much in all the years she had knew him.

"Where are we going?" she asked, mouth full of cereal.

"There's a Dragonidae demon waiting for us somewhere" He replied, prodding her to make her eat faster.

"Somewhere? Gee, that's accurate, Jace."

"Well, we'll just have to search for it".

Perhaps an hour or two later, Elsie found her and her brother turning down a long, dark alleyway, searching for traces of the demon. They knew what they were looking for, having done this plenty of times before. Strange footprints, charred objects, perhaps a little blood.

What they wasn't expecting was a harsh, low voice, perhaps better defined as a growl, of "Nephilim, you are not welcome here"

Both jumped slightly, before sprinting for the opposite end of the alleyway, then abruptly stopping, realising their escape was blocked. Two black clad, hooded figures towered over them. Elsie's heart seemed to skip a beat in fear, she looked around, frantically searching for a means of escape. It wasn't possible, the brick walls either side were too high; They would have to fight. The tallest figure proceeded to Elsie, who tried to back away, the back of her head painfully coming into contact with the cold, hard wall.

"Get away from her," a defensive voice growled. Head pounding, it took her a few moments to realise it had come from her brother, who was pulling out a blade from his weapons belt.

"Oooh, he's being _brave" _mocked the figure, before closing Its grip on Elsie, who stood rooted to the spot, paralysed with fear.

"He'll just have to go down first, then" said the other, Its - no, his - voice dripping with bloodlust. _Vampires? _The thing reached for something in its belt, which glittered in the feeble sun rays, disproving her theory.

The Thing stepped towards her brother, who shakily held his own weapon in front of him, his face frozen in shock, his eyes, usually sparkling with laughter, were full of the deepest fear. Demons, they could fight, they could kill, without fear, without guilt. But this was different, they were_ human - _at least, partly. A horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach proved that Elsie knew her brother could not fight these.

The sound of metal on metal pulled Elsie out of her slight daze, but the sound was not what she had hoped, it wasn't her brother fighting. The thing holding her had thrown something, knocking the weapon out of her brothers hands. Him weapon less, and her, held back in an iron grip, she knew she was going to die.

Adrenaline finally pulsing through her veins, she twisted, squirmed, and pushed in a last, desperate attempt to escape the Things grip, doing so, she pleaded with her mind, with her sanity, _'This is not happening. It's not real.' _

As the twisted, tortured screams of a voice she knew only too well tore apart her heart and soul, she stood there, still, eyes closed, foolishly trying to convince herself '_This is just a nightmare. I'll wake up soon. Everything will be back to normal'_

Slowly, reluctantly trying to force her eyes open, she need not have. She knew he was dead. But actually seeing it was a thousand times worse. Seeing her brother, who she loved so dearly, lying on the cold, dirty ground, lifeless blue eyes still open in shock, a pool of dark liquid slowly forming around him, was worse than she could ever imagined.

Fighting back tears, something inside her snapped. Seeing red, she prised herself out of the grip she was held in, and launched herself at the figure. Within barely a minute, both figures were lying dead on the floor, but not before one had struck her back. Closing her eyes in pain, trying to ignore the image of her brother lying dead seemingly branded onto the back of her eyelids, his scream still ringing in her ears, she fell uncontrollably into the darkness.

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**Thanks for reading, please review :)  
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	2. Chapter 2

**Behind These Eyes,  
Part Two.**

After an indefinable length of time, Elsie became aware of something - no, someone holding her, gently shaking her, desperately trying to wake her up. A soft, pleading voice rose from the darkness, "Elsie! Elsie, please wake up, please…"

As she slowly became aware of her body, she realised a dull aching in her head, which, as she noticed it, seemed to swiftly spread through her body and become increasingly more painful. She tried to open her eyes, to show she was awake, but she didn't seem capable, the pain was in total control of her body.

The voice continued pleading, and Elsie realised that she recognised the voice, but the name just would not come to her. Familiar gentle fingers came up to her neck, feeling her weakening pulse. She desperately tried to show that she was still alive, but the pain just wouldn't allow her.

A dazzling, piercing light seemed to come out of the darkness; She had managed to open her eyes. As they adjusted to the sudden brightness, she realised that it wasn't actually bright at all, it was dark. How long had she been there? Searching for the person holding her, her eyes met a worried dark brown pair, which could only belong to one person, but his name was still forgotten. Trying to remember, she looked more closely. His honey-coloured skin seemed darker in the semi-darkness, and thick black curls fell over his eyes as he looked down at her.

"You're alive" he breathed, relieved. His grip on her tightened, as if afraid he would still lose her. When she didn't reply, he realised she wasn't as okay as he thought. Her eyes suddenly widened, as if in shock, and closed suddenly. Her breathing slowed, she mumbled something so quietly a normal person wouldn't have been able to hear, but of course, Raphael was no normal person. "Save me…please…"

Raphael froze. He knew what she meant - but she was Nephilim. He couldn't do that to her, turn her family against her, make her into a monster, like him. But she was dying. He couldn't just let her die like this, when he could still save her - but would she be happy, if he saved her? Would she not mind being a monster? Her family would turn their backs on her, for sure. Even if they didn't, she could never return to the institute, for it was hallowed ground. Could he do this? Could he damn her to an eternity of the night? As her heartbeat slowed even more, he knew needed to decide now._ I need to do this. I can't spend forever knowing that I could have saved her…_

His hands found their way back up to her neck, he shifted her body slightly in his arms, so it was easier for him. As his razor-sharp teeth met the soft, warm skin, her body tensed, subconsciously waiting for the pain which would never come - instead, everything disappeared, and she was pleasantly numb to the world.

Elsie awoke in an unfamiliar place, and very alone. Wherever she was, it was dark and rather small, with a horrible, clinging smell of dampness. Trying to breathe, she didn't seem able to, yet there was no feeling of breathlessness. She knew she needed to get out, but had no idea how. Hardly aware of what she was doing, she began to claw at the earth-like ceiling above her, with strength she never aware she had.

The next thing Elsie was aware of, she was standing in a gloomy place full of humped, shadowy objects. A unbearable burning began in the back of her throat, at the same time she noticed a figure standing before her, leaning against a darkened shape, his long, thin arms extended holding out something, as if an offering. With a strange stinging in her lip, she discovered that her teeth were sharp, pointed, pushing down on her lip. With a lunge, she snatched away what the boy was holding out, ripping open the sachet, messily swallowing the deep red liquid inside.

Looking back at the boy in front of her, then down at her bloody hands, she understood. So he had saved her, after all. Truthfully, she wasn't counting on him to actually save her, she thought he wouldn't be able to. For what was she supposed to do now? She didn't even feel like herself anymore. Who was she? She had just watched her brother murdered, then killed two men herself, something that Elsie Lightwood would never have been capable of. What now? She just wanted everything to be normal again. With a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, she remembered that she can never go into the institute again. Never be able to live normally, surrounded by her friends, her family…Never see Braedon again. How could she live without him? All her life, they had been together, she could always count on him. Now, she felt so empty, so alone. Well, she had Raphael, who she had recently become friends with, but she didn't fancy living the rest of her life in the Hotel. What she needed, she realised, is a new start, somewhere new, where she could find herself again.

"How are you feeling?" The other vampire asked softly, cautiously approaching her, as if she were to lash out at him at any moment.  
_How am I feeling? How does he think I feel? _She wanted to tell him how hurt she was, but she knew that he had only meant physically. She felt strange, different, but okay. The pain she had felt earlier had disappeared, as well as the burning in her throat. Looking around, her eyesight was much better than before. Her surroundings were no longer dark and shadowed, just a different colour, a few shades darker than as if it were daylight.

Eyes returning to Raphael, she noticed that he was leaning against a motorcycle, which seemed almost to be alive. With an unfamiliar feeling, she realised that neither of them really were, which meant neither was she. It seemed such a strange thought, that she was dead. With that, her previous thoughts returned, the ideas of escaping this place and having a new beginning.

The boy was still watching her, waiting for her reply, concerned brown eyes locking into her own. She opened her mouth, to answer, but instead found herself asking, "Your motorbike. Can I use it?"  
He looked startled. Clearly something he wasn't expecting her to say.

"Why?" But he already knew, even though his heart doesn't beat, he still felt human emotions, he knew how she was feeling.

"I just need to get away" she replied, as he knew she would. But, he knew that by away, she hadn't meant just for a little while. If she went, she would never return.

He nodded reluctantly, hardly aware that he had. As she approached him - no, the motorcycle, he realised he didn't want her to leave, to go away forever. Would he ever see her again? He had already almost lost her once…

As she mounted the bike, she looked back, about to say farewell.

"Let me come with you", He asked - more like pleaded.

Elsie could see that he was hurt. Had she really meant that much to him? Seeing the pain in his eyes, it was so tempting to just say yes. But she knew she couldn't. Looking away, she mumbled "I'm sorry."

As the bike took off from the ground, Elsie thought she heard a quiet, "Be safe."

But it was spoken so softly, that it may have just been a whisper of the wind.

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**Review please :)  
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	3. Chapter 3

**Behind These Eyes  
Part 3**

**I haven't updated in a while, because I wasn't going to continue this story, but the other day I found my plans for it so I thought I would keep going :)**

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**Typical Elsie, to forget that she was afraid of heights until she was soaring far above the city. Overcome by fear, she tried not to look down, but curiosity overcame her. The city below looked so breathtaking, lit up in the darkness, enhanced by her new vampire eyesight. She felt a pang of regret for having to leave. But what else was there for her to do? She can't return to the institute, she can't ever be with her family. The family she has left, that is. And they weren't even her real family, the last other member of her real family was killed only a short while ago. As she put more distance between herself and her former home, she felt guilty for not having told everyone that she was leaving. Too late now though, Elsie Lightwood does not back out of decisions.

After half an hour or so, the Newborn realised she had no idea where she was going. She just wanted to get away, to put as much distance between her and the place where her whole life turned upside down. Now she was lost about what to do. Where was she supposed to stay? Where was she supposed to sleep? She sighed, realizing she had not thought ahead, again. _Oh well, guess I might as well keep going. I've got nothing more to lose' _Her head was dizzy due to the fear, she couldn't think straight, just forced herself to carry on. The sky around her was growing lighter, the rising sun wove shades of orange, yellow and pink into the sky. _Wow, that sure is something,_ she began to think, when the bike underneath her suddenly slowed down. Her heart leapt as she realised - the sun. How could she forget? How could she have been stupid? The motorcycle was falling now, she put all her strength into staying on. But she knew it will not help her when she hits the ground, and it was drawing nearer.  
"Oh my - " She closed her eyes, bracing herself for what was to come.

Jared watched as the black motorcycle fell through the air, a small figure desperately trying to hold on. Helplessly, he watched as it hit the ground with a loud thud and threw the figure off. He ran over to where the person landed, hoping that they were okay; He could do without more guilty thoughts plaguing his mind. As he neared, he realised that it was a young girl, probably no more than eighteen, and definitely unconscious. She looked oddly familiar, but he shook this thought out of his head, and checked to make sure the girl was okay. As his hand touched her arm, he immediately drew it back, a small hiss escaping his lips. _Vampire. _But - she was alive. She wasn't burned. How was this possible?Hesitating briefly, he decided he couldn't just leave her here, vampire or not. He picked her up, carrying her back to his cottage, glad that no-one was around to see.

Elsie woke up, feeling happy; as you do when waking from a long, refreshing sleep. Then she became aware of the ache throughout the left side of her body, and memories came flooding back. Raphael, the bike, the crash. So where was she now? Slowly sitting up, she looked around the room. It was very bland; beige walls, wooden flooring, minimal furniture, giving nothing away about the owner. She laid back down, trying to avoid putting any weight on her left side. She wanted to explore the house, to gather information, she felt extremely vulnerable not knowing where she was.

"Oh, you're awake".

Elsie's head snapped up, her eyes taking in the man's appearance. He was middle aged with short light brown hair, looking at her through pale blue eyes which spoke of pain, mixed with concern.

"Yeah" she replied weakly."Who are you? Where am I?" She added a small smile, worried her questions sounded too rude.

"My name is Jared, and this is my home. We are currently on the outskirts of the small village of St Michael."

"Oh."

"If you don't mind me asking, where did you come from?"

"New York".

"What was you doing so far from home?"

"I don't have a home anymore". She answered sadly.

"Oh. I'm sorry. Feel free to stay as long as you like". He answered, not knowing what else to say, he added "Would you like anything to eat?".

She answered him with a questioning look. He left, saying to come and find him if she changed her mind.

Elsie was confused. Surely he should know what she was? He must have noticed, unless - unless he was a mundane. But that's impossible, he must have seen the motorcycle wreck. But what if he didn't? What if he thought she was just an ordinary girl? She sighed, not knowing what had she gotten herself into. She didn't know anything about mundanes, how was she supposed to survive in their world?

After a short doze, she decided to explore the house. She stepped out of the bedroom, into the hall. The door opposite her was ajar; it was a large bathroom. To her right, the hallway ended in a door, to her left it opened out into another room. Turning left , she passed one more door which she presumed was Jared's bedroom, and came into a large, open room. From this room was another room of equal size, wish a peek established it was the kitchen. Jared was sitting at the table, sipping a mug of black coffee. It all looked so normal, with a horrible sinking feeling she realised it was an ordinary, mundane bungalow.

"Oh, changed your mind about the food?" He asked, seeing her in the doorway.

"Umm..."  
"Are you sure you're not hungry?" he asked, "You can't have fed in a couple of days".

That was odd words to use, Elsie thought. So he's not a mundane after all, Elsie realised, her body flooding with relief.

"How did you know?"

"Why, it couldn't be more obvious. You were riding a vampire motorcycle, after all. And I couldn't feel your pulse when I was evaluating your injuries".

"There's just one thing though..." He continued, "How did you survive the sunlight?"  
When she didn't answer, the man carried on. "There's only one thing that the Silent Brothers believe will make a child of the night immune to the sun. Shadowhunter blood. Native vampire blood, that runs through your veins".

"Yeah...I guess that makes sense." She answered, he voice quiet. She hoped he would stop asking her questions. And that wish was granted, never again did he ask about her personal life.

"So...what are you?" She asked. Admittedly, she was disappointed she hadn't been able to work it out already, what kind of Shadowhunter was she?

He looked at her thoughtfully for a moment, wondering how to answer. A piercing howl nearby answered for him.

"Just who are you? What are you doing here?" She asked, her curious side taking over her shy one.

"Why do you live here, so far away from everywhere else?"

"Ask me no questions, I will tell you no lies", His eyes fogging over, he swiftly exited the room.

And so, her new life began.

**Note: I don't know if St Michael is a real village, but I made it up. And if Jared sounds like Luke, he isn't supposed to. Also, I know simply being Nephilim turned into a vampire does not mean you can survive the sunlight, but I changed it, because I can :)**


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